Decade

Career records of Gents' guests

he title of this page is something of a contradiction in terms, for logically how can a guest have a career with your club? No matter, below are recalled the 54 chaps who helped out The Gents between 1988 and 1997, excluding, and this is important, guests who subsequently joined the club, even in those seasons in which their status was that of guest. Each player is recalled in the Be My Guest section overleaf. The most impressive Bush Telegraph over the years has undoubtedly been Mr Ashton to Mr Hill, both Phil himself or other West XI-ers frequently making themselves available at very short notice. The stampede in the opposite direction has not been quite so pronounced, although an impressive sixteen Gents members have at some stage represented The Beggars, and the likes of Ashton and Bignell have been dual passport-holders for many years. One should add that Phil’s record for The Gents has been first rate, particularly in the bowling department. In recent years, he appeared to up his game when in Gents’ colours. Completists among you will already have calculated that Guests average 10 with the bat and 13 with the ball, whereas Members weigh in with 15 on each measure. Whack ’em down the order but give ’em plenty of bowling would seem to be the message.

Be my guest

 he Gents have been immensely grateful for contributions of guests over the decade. Without their help, some fixtures would have been cancelled and many victories become defeat as Gents XIs would have been reduced to Gents VIIIs or IXs. It is only right, therefore, to honour their contribution. From Game One back in 1988, The Gents have fielded 54 guest players, making 130 appearances, nearly one per game. Ten never scored a run, bless them. Twenty-six played just the once. Most fertile ground for guests has been friends of members, but Enterprise, London Owls and FC Chad have also been helpful over the years. Most helpful oppo has, however, been West XI, in so many ways the antithesis of The Gents. Fifteen Beggars have sometime worn Gents colours, making 53 appearances, scoring 529 runs and taking 52 wickets and 20 catches. Here, then, are our recollections of them, season by season. Sketchy our recall may be, but if it jogs a few memories and raises a smile or grimace of recognition then it will have served its purpose.

                The Gents’ inaugural game in 1988 against West XI saw the first of many appearances by the legendary Milton Jolin, who bizarrely figured in a Gents’ tenth wicket record stand which is unbroken yet. Milton still holds the record for catches in a game, five against London Saints in 1994. This West XI fixture also saw the only appearances by Richard L, a good wicketkeeper and Mark ?, of whom little is remembered, although a Richard L once played for West XI. They survive in the sacred scorebook, though, and that’s good enough for us. George Gray, a colleague of The Commander with a high testosterone level, and Des’s younger brother Eamonn Dolan, also débuted in the first season. Mr Gray eventually retired from the Second Class game because it was too far to drive from the West Country with a monumental hangover, while poor Eamonn was forced to witness his older brother Des bamboozled by West XI into giving a dodgy lbw at Windsor, whereupon Steve Haywood attempted to do murder with his bat. Two more of Mr Ashton’s Wavin colleagues, Nigel Gordon and Willy Zwetsloot were down to appear in Game 2 against East Harrow Cheaters (sic) but the scorecard does not survive and memories of that game are fading faster than those of the Battle of the Somme.

                1989 saw the first of many appearances by Honorary Member Phil Hill, although he bowled complete pants against East Harrow Cheetahs and only scored 4 (albeit outperforming most native Gents!). He was to underperform in Gents’ colours for some years before getting it right with a vengeance in 1996. West XI’s Colin Hunter played in the same game, with more success, top-scoring by a distance. That his score was 24 eloquently supports the thesis that this was The Gents’ worst-ever display of batting. That nightmare second West XI clash at Boston Manor was so oversubscribed that the match was 13-a-side, The Gents lobbing the ball to the myriad fielders in achieving their mighty 71 all out. Enterprise players and good eggs Frank Brookes, Stuart Harris and Pete Reynolds were part of this débâcle (Pete catapulting himself to the top of the all-time most economical bowling in the process), although Stuart scored 17, higher than anyone has ever seen him score for his chosen club and The Gents’ highest innings on the day! Colleague of Andy Burman Vijay Sharma also played in that game, having first played against Enterprise in May of that year. Vijay refused to play again, as “your captain takes it far too seriously.” Mate of Andy Burman’s Pete Moor top-scored in the Boston Manor beer match, then went one better by taking two vital wickets in The Gents’ first ever win. He came out of retirement again in 1990 and copped a Golden Duck played-on off John Williams at Southall.

                In 1990, Beggars Gents-destroyer John Waddell and Stalinist Chairperson Kevin Allerton guested in that fine September game against Enterprise, as did the excellent all rounder and colleague of Andy Burman Nick Litton, still spoken of in awed tones by New Barbarian Weasels for his catch against them in 1991. Richard Pearce, a mate of Ian Maughan’s with a Catweazle beard, kept wicket in two games, once against Ian’s interesting bowling but, traumatised by the experience, never returned, while a colleague of John Townley’s, the fang-toothed Graeme “Dracula” Thelmer, helped out against Old Cubbonians and took a good catch.

                There were surprisingly no new guest Beggars in 1991, but The Gents were honoured with two European guests, Mark Ashton’s German friend and Kaiserslauten fan Stefan Meininger against Old Cubbonians and Des Dolan’s Dutch friend Hans Burgmeijer in the second West XI game. Stefan was tragically killed in a car accident the next summer. His girlfriend and several others also died. This awful news broke two days before the May West XI game. Stefan would not have enjoyed the result that day, but would surely have marvelled at Clyde Seale’s and Charles Arthur’s batsmanship. He loved his cricket. Cheetah Denis Harvey, in at that middle-class conception of The Gents on some suburban golf course, and Andy Burman’s colleague Bob Upton played in the enjoyable second game against Enterprise. Bob was not very high up the evolutionary scale and was infamous in his place of work for trying to shag anything with a pulse (he was once discovered in the disabled lavatory boffing a piece of totty from Purchasing), but always rated his catch and vital run out against Enterprise as top achievements, while Denis scored two attractive runs and missed a dolly of a slip catch off Des Dolan. The other guest that year was Nick Boddington’s mate Steve Toomey, a pleasant cove and deceptive seamer who captured three Weasels’ wickets in that enjoyable first meeting.

                An invitation to the first President’s Cup in 1992 was extended initially to Enterprise, who could not themselves raise a team but with The Gents fielded a joint side that played under The Gents’ name. Hence the inclusion of Enterprise stalwarts Pat Crotty, combative Welsh all rounder Tony Hill and Delesh Jeyadevan. Pat and Delesh would be most welcome guests again in this competition a year later. Legendary West XI batsman/wicketkeeper Clyde Seale also played, and played marvellously as The Gents captured the Cup, a performance even more impressive considering that he had not been to bed the night before. That night in the Berrylands bar, one day into his fourth decade, he shattered the record for the consumption of most bottles of Newcastle Brown Ale by a left-hander on an August post-war Sunday.

nother Beggar loanee in 1992 was Raj Kanthan, to whose bowling Daniel Todd took such a fancy in 1993. He played against New Barbarian Weasels and Enterprise. Des’s slightly bewildered brother Dermot Dolan played in the enjoyable second tussle with London Owls. Three Dolans have, frighteningly, represented The Gents since their inception; four if Des’s dad Joe, who made a brief appearance as substitute fielder in the 1992 President’s Cup, is counted. But Guest of the Year was a laid-back, youthful-looking friend of Roger Farr, Robin Hunt. He was a brilliant all rounder. No Gents outfielder has ever exceeded his three catches against Enterprise at Victoria Rec (second game) and his 62 against West XI in Richmond was a match-winning effort. Mysteriously, he disappeared from the scene, avoiding countless attempts by John Townley (the then Secretary) to contact him. Some say Robin rejoined Derbyshire 2nds, although Wisden has no record of this. More likely is some murky piece of politics from the refrigeration leasing industry, in which Robin, Roger and The Commander were all embroiled during this period. Until Phil Hill’s glorious 1996 guest appearances, Robin’s 121 runs was a record for Gents’ guests, and Phil needed many more matches.

                1993 was the most Beggared-up Gents season ever, chiefly because of one game, the legendary clash with The Weasels at Berrylands in June, which ended up with the shell-shocked Weasels blasted out for their then all-time lowest total of 48. So short were The Gents for this game that four new West XI players, pace bowler Pete Bradford, wicketkeeper Garrison Rayner (who took over from Stevie B when the legend realised he had left his purse in the bar), all rounder Chris Folley and fanatical Rangers fan Cameron Fleming guested, alongside Mr Hill. With Stevie B a regular fixture that season, six players had Beggar affiliations that day. All played well in a memorable victory. Cameron would only play once more, in the bad-tempered game against 12 Angry Men in May 1994, an ideal selection if, as had seemed likely, it had gone off. Paul Christensen played against London Saints in June, spent an hour padded up in the heat of Enfield while Bignell and Maughan batted, and was then castled first ball! Scorer Phil Hill drily recorded his Time In as 3.53 and Time Out as 3.53.30 seconds. He would have more success in the 1995 President’s Cup.

                The inevitable 1994 President’s Cup guests were West XI legend Charles Arthur and the fine Enterprise all rounder Ron High. It was not to be The Gents’ year, but they both played well. Friendly London Owls captain Ian Colley made two most welcome appearances, against 12 Angry Men and Enterprise, his bowling amazingly leaning even further to the left than his politics. Controversial wicketkeeper and then-London Owl Ken Haynes, who as a Wandham player ran out Phil Hill in controversial circumstances in 1996, got a Golden Duck against Rotherham but kept well. Daniel Todd’s friend Nigel Cullingford played in the Enterprise game and London Newcastle ex-pat Pete Dixon went in at No.11 against Urban Associates. Pete’s services were obtained by Phil Hill, which shows how much The Gents were reliant on help from their chief rivals. Milton Jolin, for example, took five catches in the June Saints draw.

                A welter of Beggars successfully graced the 1995 President’s Cup (Mr Christensen copping The Gents’ Player of the Day champers) but there were only four new guests that season. Martin Hockey, the Danny Devito ringer, was loaned by London Owls in the oversubscribed September game and scored five runs in a game won by four runs, so may be said according to Victor logic to have won the game! Stuart Snelling’s mate Rob Fontaine had played in the corresponding July game. That odd afternoon saw Ian Colley go on a recruitment drive among the Battersea Park sunseekers, so The Commander responded in kind. But for heroic commitment Dhruv’s younger brother Ketan Patel and friend Sanjay Patel, who would join in 1997, were the true guest stars of 1995. Dear Ketan acquired five Gents runs, paradoxically on that dodgy September wicket against London Owls, but will always be remembered for his mesmerising spell against London Saints. Three times he tossed up the leg-break, three times a Southampton batsman holed out to Sanjay, who was to bat brilliantly for 41 in the same game as The Gents secured a narrow victory.

                1996 was a record season for guests. There were 19 appearances, including seven from Mr Hill and five from Ketan Patel, while six new guests played. Two, Beggar Ian Dallas (who also played against London Saints) and mate-of-Four Bogs Keith Hughes travelled to north London to play Sunderland SC. Ian took two good catches in The Gents’ narrowest of victories. A day later Bodders’s father-in-law Doug Gibson helped out against East Harrow Cheetahs. The hammering by The Weasels at Beverley Park would have been even worse but for the resolute defence of West XI Fixture Secretary Andy Robinson. The amusing August match with Urban Associates saw appearances by Mark Burville’s dapper friend JJ Mitchell and another workmate of Andy Burman, the laid-back South African Kevin Watson. The guest situation that year looked particularly alarming at the time, but five players, Tony Buck, Gavin Fryer-Kelsey, Chris Mitchell, Colin Naish and Sanjay Patel opted to become full-time members, Messrs. Buck and Naish despite the offer of a lucrative contract with New Barbarian Weasels that included immediate settlement of all income tax and bookmaker’s debts, a tasteful mock-Tudor mansion complete with airhead blonde piece of pastry, plus £30,000 per week after tax!

                Despite injury to regulars Ashton, Burman and Murphy, The Gents gritted it out until June of 1997 before permanent headcount was overstretched, Prakash Patel, cousin of Dhruv, helping out v. London Saints. It was a historic moment, for Prakash was the 50^th guest for the club and he grasped his opportunity, taking two catches (including a caught and bowled) and being at the crease when the winning runs were hit. The Sunderland game again required temp agencies to be contacted, Enterprise’s Keith Dimond (no doubt grateful for a game given his side would face The Gents the following week), FC Chad’s Colin Russell and, once again, Keith Hughes (who would score his first runs for The Gents) kindly obliging. The game was lost easily but the guests contributed well. Finally, Lawrence Flack, captain of FC Chad and Bill’s brother, and the angular Eraserhead-barneted Haresh Vyas guested against Virgin Casuals, playing their part in a fine match, while Haresh was also drafted into the Enterprise return a week before guesting for FC Chad.

©The Gentlemen of West London Cricket Club 2006