THE GENT

 

August 2004

No. 94

 

Tales from the corridor of uncertainty

 

July rollercoaster for Gents

 

 

…but we won the League!

 

INSIDE…

 

CHAMPIONS! - Gents win PALs League after three years of hurt Top of the league, they’re having a laugh – West XI praise in full West XI retain Bob Ashton Cup at Brentford Match reports New Barbarian Weasels (PALs League) (won by 3 wickets) West XI (Bob Ashton Memorial Cup) (lost by 13 runs) 12 Angry Men (PALs League) (won by 7 wickets) Sunderland SC (won by 6 wickets) Readers’ letters – Glastonbury and Manor Park hauntings Rent rise ends cricketers’ winning streak Van Morrison pleonasm Averages, etc.

 

Editor AJ Burman, Female Addictions Outreach Worker, andrewburman_840@hotmail.com

A star is born

 

Hold the back page and all hail the new kid on the block. There can have been few Gent debuts since Horace Hibbert’s as profoundly influential as young Priyesh Patel at a burning Surbiton on 1 August. Turning his leg-breaks prodigiously, he took four good Mackem wickets for 28 runs as well as holding a tough catch off Snarler to play a leading part in a fine win, greatly assisted by Dhruv Patel, Prince of Darkness Tony Buck and Priyesh’s pal Faraz Sherwani. With the batsmen now delivering and indeed the bats now being delivered by Dhruv (“takes a long time to knock in, innit”) the future is bright. The team and supporters are having fun and winning some games, whereas we only got the first bit right in 2003. The tour is ON and we thank Victor for brokering the Saturday game.

 

We get knocked down…

Imperfect tense

 

GLOOMY SUNDAY

Sunday is gloomy

My hours are slumberless
Dearest the shadows

I live with are numberless
Little white flowers

Will never awaken you
Not where the black coach

Of sorrow has taken you
Angels have no thought

Of ever returning you
Would they be angry

If I thought of joining you?

 

The notorious ‘Hungarian Suicide Song’ was written in 1933. Its melody and original lyrics were the creation of Rezsô Seress, a self-taught pianist and composer born in Hungary in 1899. A fanatical supporter and latterly club secretary of MTK Budapest football club, Seress was instrumental in strengthening the team with imports from the far-flung outposts of the Austro-Hungarian empire, his dream being that his beloved side would be able once more to compete with bitter rivals Ferencváros, who had enjoyed local bragging rights for some years.

 

A bitterly disappointing 4-5 defeat in 1933, in which his defence conceded several own goals to the wily, experienced Ferencváros was the last straw. Seress retired to bed, wrote ‘Gloomy Sunday’ and became a reclusive figure, jumping to his death from his flat in 1968 after news had eventually reached him from his manservant Buckoszly that Ferencváros had won the 1965 Inter-City Fairs Cup.

 

The song has been recorded by a myriad of artistes over the years and most recently covered by Elvis Costello in his live shows. It was banned by the B.B.C. for many years. As an anthem for The Gents’ narrow defeat to West XI on 18 July it was chillingly predictive.

 

Credit West XI for their victory though and for making The Gents welcome. They even went to the trouble of exhuming Pablo Picasso to repaint the glorious Pevsner-lauded GP pavilion, which functions so well as a starter home for the local brown rat population. They provided a hearty tea and played some blistering cricket. No less a judge than Stuart Snelling has stated that West XI CC are “currently the best team on the circuit.”

 

Steve Rennie, who neither batted nor bowled, was Man of the Match for two excellent run outs, evoking for the older cricket lover memories of Lancashire’s John Abrahams in a B&H Final many moons ago. Skipper Wright and Mr. Hill were good sports in the Lord Nelson, perhaps being mindful of the adage that what goes around, comes around. The Gents might have been 1-1 going to Berkhamsted but are not and will have to get used to it. At the time of writing, Beggars have won 13 and lost only three, giving them a real chance of emulating their phenomenal seasons of the 80’s and early 90’s. To their credit, Kevin Allerton, Phil Hill and Steve Bignell from that era still play, it gets handed on.

But we get up again

Easy for Gents as Angries wilt

 

The logistical problems faced by the 12 Angry Men in what should have been a pulsating game on 25 July are for them to resolve and we wish them well. Their organiser Gavin McMillan wanted to cancel the game on Saturday morning as they only had five players. However, HP Denton stiffened the sinews, summoned up the blood, contacted The Gents and lo and behold a game was had.

 

The Angries were beefed up with Gents Andrew Burman and Faraz Sherwani, his mate Priyesh Patel and Bhav’s young brother-in-law Mr. Dev. Although it was a bit of a one-sided game it needs to be recorded how dignified the visitors were during what was an awful day for them – HP, Aussie captain Mr. Hart, Ollie and Rev. Bullock flew the regimental banner long into the night at the Lamb. They are top lads and all Gents hope they overcome this glitch.

 

The Gents proceeded to win the 2004 PALs League with their fourth win, a tremendous achievement given the previous league record of two wins in 12 games, both in 2002. Congratulatory messages from Weasels present and past in Jez Owen (“Well done, hats off!”) and Bill Flack were much appreciated. Good old West XI were also predictably graceful, Beggarbanter posting a majestic, effusive tribute:

 

 

A true Tumbleweed Moment! Of course, Mr. Beggarbanter, whoever you are, it cannot be disputed that 12AM were below par in the Surbiton game but they were up to scratch at Chiswick, while although Weasels borrowed three West London stalwarts to complete their team at Surbiton one of them was called Bhavesh Vyas and the game was close. Unless one believes that The Gents have become unpopular, or that opponents did not make themselves available just because these were league fixtures rather than friendlies, the question, rightly as yet unposed, becomes should The Gents continue to play these sides?

 

The answer is simple. Both Angries and NBW have a long, glorious tradition and have had many pulsating clashes with The Gents over the years. The Angries in particular need to address their administration and we are sure they will do so, but both teams will appear on the 2005 card, home and away, whether it be in a league format or not. When times are tough for your friends you stick by them, as they did in 2003 with The Gents.

 

Yet the format of the PALs League does need to be addressed after recent resignations. It badly needs a fourth team. West XI decided rather hand-wringingly that it was not for them and Urbans continued the death spiral. Of teams on the current card probably only St. Anne’s could both absorb the extra fixtures and have the necessary infrastructure. All to be discussed at the A.G.M. in the brief agenda window permitted between public liability insurance policies and sponsorship by local kebab emporia and garden centres.

 

Aycliffe update

 

Tired of dealing with and being rebuffed by wet behind the ear recruitment consultants (been there, mate, not good) Mark Ashton has decided to start his own company, though in what industry, and in what way it might dovetail with the mysterious Chinaman and the DVD’s to deliver a coherent business model is unclear. Our Industrial Correspondent asked him to spill the beans. “Well, mate, I’ve got certain plans involving certain people, who are going to each put a certain amount of f***ing money in” he gruffed. Meanwhile, he is taking a keen interest in the results once more, having come out of his period of apathy in which there were about 10GB of unopened Gents in his in-box, alongside all the invitations from Latvian tarts to hand over his credit card number and have a peek. Sadly though he has a subsequent engagement for the tour weekend, a “family visit,” so all twitchers are advised to cancel their trips to the Midlands and leave their binoculars on the side.

Rent rise ends winning streak

 

It is the best of times and the worst of times for Michelmersh and Timsbury Cricket Club, wrote Stewart Payne in the Daily Telegraph of 17 July. Faced with a sevenfold rent increase for the use of its pitch, it is being sued by its own Parish Council, threatening its survival, in a season that has witnessed its greatest achievement on the field. The players have just written the most illustrious chapter in their club’s history by reaching the county finals of the national Village Cup against all the odds, overhauling a target of 305 to beat a side five divisions above them and fielding a scratch team with only ten players.

 

In doing so, the lowly Hampshire Regional 1 North side might have expected the wholehearted praise and support of its Parish Council landlords. Instead, the Council is taking them to the County Court in a row over a rent increase that has divided the two villages that make up the combined parish. The Council – which, it is claimed, has no lovers of the summer game among its members – has decided to apply a market rent to the village sports club, which represents the cricket, football and hockey teams.

 

The club says it cannot afford the increase and that, if Parish Councils around the country took the same attitude, it would signal the end of many traditional village teams. After taking advice from accountants, Councillors agreed an increase from £330 to £2,500 a year – a move described by the sports club as “outrageous.” John Rhodes, the sports club treasurer, said: “Most village clubs receive support from their Parish Councils and rents are usually a few hundred pounds a year or sometimes nothing at all. Our Council has suddenly slapped this huge increase and we cannot afford it. It will be the end of sport in the village.”

 

David Sharman, the treasurer of the cricket club, said: “You would think our Parish Council would be proud of us instead of trying to put us out of business. I wouldn’t be surprised if councillors didn’t even know of our victory.”

 

It seems he may be right. The Telegraph contacted Peter Pritchett-Brown, the Vice-Chairman of the Council, and asked him for his comments on their success on the field. “Er, I have to say I don’t know about that,” he said. “I am not a sporty sort of person but that is not the issue.” He said the Council had a lease with the sports club that stated it had the right to charge a market rent. After many years charging a low rent, the Council found that it was spending a disproportionate sum on supporting the club, which was made worse when insurance premiums went up. Because both the cricket and football clubs have continued to use the ground without paying the increase, he said the Council had no choice but to go to the Small Claims Court at Winchester to recover unpaid rent since the increase was imposed last year.

 

Mr. Sharman said one of the ironies was that much of the recreation ground was given to the Parish Council by the grandfather of one of the current players to ensure the future of sport in the two neighbouring villages.

 

Mr. Rhodes said the sports club had to pay in the region of £7,000 on top of the rent to maintain facilities at the recreation ground and members would not be prepared to pay a big increase in membership and match day fees required by the new rent rise. “We are just dumbfounded by all this. We seem to have a group of Councillors who view village cricket and football on a profit and loss basis and not on what it brings to the community. I have never heard of anything like it anywhere else in the country.”

 

The Council has lodged its case with the County Court and the sports club has submitted its response. No date has been fixed for the court hearing.

 

(We were torn on reading this between a rant and taking to the hills, never to trouble with worldly matters again. But we’ve bucked up, and now want to know more about the cup upset referred to above. Did the senior side lend a fielder or a spare player? Were the boundaries schoolboy-sized? Ed.)

 

Gents escape Asif moment

 

Did anybody else clock the tall Welchman who pitched up before the Enterprise game wishing to join The Gents? He stated that he had moved to the area and was keen to play for GWLCC. Or was it, like Mandy in ‘Life of Brian’ who dreamed that a myrrh was a wild beast, all imaginary? If so, we’re losing it here.

Lingua franca

 

Gent 93 featured a frank exchange of views between West XI guest ringer Asif, and defender of the faith Bill Flack. Except that it didn’t. Wrote Steve Bignell:

 

 

We didn’t get where we are today by not having a sense of humour and that seemed to be that, with both Andrew Burman and Bill Flack posting messages to the effect of good jape, boys will be boys, etc. However, Ling took offence at a playful threat issued by Bill (“if I get hold of the bastard I’ll do him good and proper” – typed in a very playful font) and has subsequently retired from cricket, citing decay both moral (others) and physical (his).

 

Whether he is serious or not nobody can say, but if he is, The Gent would like to place on record its appreciation of all he has done not only for West XI but also The Gents, for whom he has enjoyed recent associate membership. Though something of a cult figure in West XI, where his attempts at booking pitches enlivened recent springs, he did not enjoy universal popularity in The Gents, where several players, unused to his idiosyncrasies, placed perhaps too much emphasis on his loud 2003 denunciation of GWLCC as “a bunch of cheats” (the legendary Berkhamsted Rant) and his cutting edge No-ball legislation, which hindered an excellent Dhruv Patel spell in May 2004.

 

And did those feet?

Theological implications of West XI’s tour venue

 

 

Glastonbury was indeed once an island. Its name is from the Saxon meaning ‘glassy island’ and was a fortified islet in Saxon times. Joseph of Arimathea’s visit is not such a myth as one might imagine. Trade between the Middle East and England has gone on for hundreds and hundreds of years, and it is well known that Joseph was a travelling merchant. He may well have taken Jesus with him on his many travels during the latter’s early years, about which nothing is known. The ‘Glastonbury Thorn’ (a small oak tree) was allegedly brought here by Joseph of Arimathea, and is said to flower every Christmas. The Chalice Well is on the hillside and having

visited it personally, as well as climbing the Tor, I can say that it is a magical and mysterious place still, notwithstanding the pseudo-Goths, thrill-seekers and day-trippers who still frequent the town. Mary, Jesus’ mother, also came to Britain during that time so it is said. After Jesus’ death, she left Palestine and travelled to Kidwelly in Wales, where she formed a religious retreat, and legend has it that she is buried there.

 

(The ageing of the record collection at Gent House has attracted playful criticism from with-it young person and style guru HP Denton (31). Given that two tracks therein, ‘Cemetry Gates’ (The Smiths, The Queen Is Dead) and ‘You Don’t Pull No Punches But You Don’t Push The River’ (Van Morrison, Veedon Fleece) both refer in the lyrics to old mystic William Blake (1757-1827), the author of ‘Jerusalem,’ he may have a point. Talking of Van Morrison, how groovy was it after the 12AM game when someone put ‘Stoned Me’ from Moondance on the jukie? The editor of The Gent well remembers writing to Mr. Morrison in 1972 pointing out that although ‘Stoned Me’ was a great song, its lyric “Almost let a pick-up truck nearly pass us by” was a good example of pleonasm, i.e. the use of more words in a sentence than are necessary to express the meaning; redundancy of expression (either as a fault of style, or as a figure purposely used for special force or clearness); with a and pl., an instance of this, or the superfluous word or phrase itself. Mr. Morrison did not reply. Ed.)

Readers’ letters

 

 

Just a short note to thank you very much for the £100 sponsorship received from The Gentlemen of West London for my recent MIND bike ride to Amsterdam. It was very kind of you to take it on, to arrange and collect the money and very gratefully received. Thanks again.

 

I must write to thank Patricia Langley for her interesting and informative pieces in recent Gent issues concerning two of the less well-known corners of London, namely Feltham to the West and Manor Park to the East. Whilst I am vaguely familiar with Feltham, having visited a burnt-out warehouse some years ago (work related), I am intimately acquainted with the delights of Manor Park. I can assure readers that although unflatteringly described as one of the “less salubrious” parts of London, a point I’m not going to dispute, it is, in parts, and as its name would suggest, blessed with a high proportion of green, grassy veldt bordering Epping Forest as it does.

 

Simultaneously, and in keeping with East End folklore, it also hosts a disproportionately high number of cemeteries. I am, in fact, completely surrounded by cemeteries, the City and East London visible from my bedroom window, to my left is Manor Park cemetery and over the Romford Road, past the Earl of Essex (described in a previous Gent as an “armpit” is Woodgrange Park cemetery. (*)

 

One of my friends took the bold step, two years ago, of moving into a two-bedroom flat on the new Woodgrange Park cemetery development mentioned previously. He has now put the flat up for sale having suffered from lousy and noisy neighbours, drug dealing in the car park, gang warfare, burnt-out vehicles and the final insult, burglary. He lives on the first floor and the burglar entered through a tiny open window, a small child presumably having shinned up the outside wall and squeezed himself in.

 

Is it just co-incidence that he has suffered such a nightmare two years of bad luck or is it something more sinister? I wouldn’t like to say!

 

(*) Everything in the garden grows extremely well.

 

 

I would not dispute that Feltham is even less salubrious than Manor Park! I know of the burnt-out warehouse of which he speaks, and I actually saw it burning one Friday evening – black smoke everywhere!

 

It is interesting that Chris can actually complete the story of the razed cemetery and the subsequent housing development that was erected on part of the cemetery site. While this type of chavvish behaviour is rife in some

parts, Chris’s friend appears to have had more than his share of bad luck since moving to the new flat. It is well-known that to disturb the rest of the dead is a bad thing, and it does appear that this person may have been

subjected to a few acts of revenge by the dearly departed whose remains once rested in that cold ground. A cautionary tale for any land developer, I think.

 

Cemetery earth is very fertile given the nature of its components, so I am not surprised to know that the gardens there are extremely productive.

 

 

I write knowing your interest in the peculiarity of roads in Essex (Gent 91). Whilst driving along the A1400 near Gants Hill, I noticed a road called Herent Drive. The sole reason for such an odd name seems to be to support the egos of its residents, as a place where self-motivated go-getters live (in Herent Drive). I was wondering whether other readers had noticed similar strange road names?

 

(It took us a few goes to ‘get’ this, but keep at it and the rewards will come tumbling down. Ed.)

 Gents v. New Barbarian Weasels

 

Victoria RG, Surbiton, Saturday, 10 July. Gents won toss. Stormy, 16°

 

 

Gentlemen of West London won by 3 wickets

 

Storm clouds lift

 

Credit both sides for going ahead in unpromising conditions and conjuring up a tight contest on a lively, but fair wicket. The Gents’ long batting line-up proved the matchwinner but Weasels fought to the last before being undone by a gem of a stand between Wright and Husain, which compensated for earlier, patchy efforts. The Gents cannot now be overhauled in the 2004 PALs League and will win it outright if 12 Angry Men fail to win both their remaining fixtures. The gloom of winter stretches out like a pall to a cricketer so there was no hesitation in going ahead once the showers had eased and the latecomers had arrived.

 

Sanjay fielded first and looked on aghast as mid-on Husain dropped a simple catch offered in the first over by Michaels. It was not expensive as Adam edged behind in the sixth over off the accurate skipper and walked. Guest Vyas (one of three) is not one of nature’s walkers and when Scibo seemed to have caught him fairly a few overs later words were had. Bhav and Pagan saw up the fifty in the 13th. over whereupon the catches started to stick. Six were taken, the pick being Ken Toft’s at deep extra-cover as the Weasels began to hit out, arguably too late. Pagan batted 31 overs for his 10 runs, a remarkable feat of concentration by the apprentice Bignell. NBW at least batted out the overs.

 

Moon Cat lofted the day’s only six high on the off side in the first over of the second innings, cover-drove two fours but was undone by a rolling, tumbling Vyas catch in the covers. A rare failure from Thompson followed three balls later and Michaels had his third victim when he bowled a disconsolate Scibo. Sanjay was in good form and Toft was looking very solid, though Whiting yorked him with a well-disguised slower ball in the 15th. over. It is all very well having a team of dashing strokemakers but anchormen are as vital, and when Toft was out Norcott took over the reins, once more inspired by Humphrey Hound, who in his excitement briefly invaded the pitch before going off on the sniff behind the railway boundary. When Sanjay fell to a high, sharp catch at square-leg for the day’s top score and Derriman holed out off a vertical skier, Weasels were slight favourites, The Gents 78-7. The bookmaking spread was changing swiftly. Tic-tac man and No.11 Buck had quickly modified his forecast from “Gents to win in the next half-hour” (at 21-0) to “We’ll be OK if Ken bats for 25 overs” (42-3). By now he had his pads on and The Gents were edgy. However, Jim had the glint of battle in his eye and was defending stoutly. Nabil sliced his first ball over slips for four but then quickly crashed three more authentic boundaries to bring victory within sight, Jim securing a narrow win with a booming lofted off-drive, his second four. This was, despite the rain, the best Surbiton wicket of the summer.

West XI v. Gents

 

Gunnersbury Park, Brentford, Sunday, 18 July. Gents won toss. Sunny, 23°

 

 

West XI won by 13 runs

 

Rennie fortifies the over 40’s

 

West XI retained the Bob Ashton Memorial Cup in a thrilling encounter at Gunnersbury Park, writes Steve Bignell, edging the contest by 163 runs to 150 and taking an unbeatable 2-0 lead in the series, thanks to some great work in the field that included three direct hit run outs (following three the previous week) and safe catching in the outfield. Both sides batted and bowled with fine discipline, but ultimately it was the late assault by the Beggar batsman in their last six overs, when 60 priceless runs were added, that probably made the difference.

The average age of the West XI team for this fixture was dramatically reduced by the absence of all three of their quinquagenarians, although five quadragenarians were on duty, most of them relegated to the dregs of the batting order. By comparison The Gents were almost sprog-like in their make-up. Even with twelve players on each side, defending the vast expanses of the Gunnersbury Park field proved a logistical problem for both captains.

Having lost the toss West XI were invited to take first strike. Against steady bowling Taylor and Vyas compiled a sensible 50 stand for the first wicket at three runs an over. Thompson and Jimmy Wright tied down the batsmen in the middle innings as the home side sought to accelerate. Taylor’s responsible 35 provided the backbone to the innings (his best score of the summer and during which he passed 2000 runs for West XI), whilst Chris Dane’s elegant and workmanlike 37 kept the scoreboard ticking over. Andy Rob and Willow Man were sacrificed in the run chase (though the latter biffed an all-run four) and only when Chris Wright and Neepam Bhatt came together for the sixth wicket did the fireworks really start, with some electric running between the wickets that finally put the fielding side under some pressure.

The Gent reply got off to a sluggish start, tied down by an excellent opening spell from Hill and Vyas who, taking the pace off the ball from negligible approaches to the wicket and whipping through their overs, conceded an aggregate of just 28 from their alloted 14 overs. West XI’s early successes came from run outs, with direct hits from Steve Rennie accounting for Gilkes and Dhruv Patel, who was beginning to look dangerous. Whatever Steve was on should be bottled and given to the rest of the over-forties as he fielded like a hare all afternoon and set the tone for the rest of the day.

 

Despite their slow start, The Gents were beginning to move up the gears. Justin Norcott’s patient innings (24 from 67 balls) was perhaps too slow and put pressure on the middle order batsmen. However, Thompson and Sanjay Patel were just beginning to threaten when Thommo was run out by another superb piece of fielding from Neep, throwing down the stumps from 30 yards. Shortly after Sanjay smacked a Dane full toss straight to Chris Wright at mid-wicket, but at the 25-over mark the score was 92, precisely the same score as West XI had achieved. Jimmy Wright, coming in far too low at No.8, could not force the pace, bamboozled by the boy Taylor, who went for only 15 from four overs at the height of the run chase, and it was left to Husain to give The Gents hope as he smashed Neep around towards the finish. Buck holed out to Neep in the deep, strategically stationed at cow corner, and the innings finally ran out of steam 13 runs short.

Another vital statistic was the extras conceded, The Gents leaking 12 byes and 11 wides, though they actually outscored West XI 139-137 with the bat. They were visibly disappointed, having come so close, but this was their fifth defeat in a row to the Beggars, who now seem to have the psychological edge in a contest between two teams of equal ability.

 

Gunnersbury Rambler adds: I reckon The Gents played well enough to show they are still a top side. However, I disagree with Mr. Bignell’s conclusion that it was uncommonly close. I think the Wests had a reasonable amount of power left in the locker. The Gents did bowl rather well but both Stewie and Bhav posted runs and Daney, Wrighty and Neepy were on hand to up the scoring rate when it mattered. In contrast, the Gents were always looking for that something extra, although Mr. Husain did bat rather well. In the end West XI’s cricketing know-how of playing at Gunnersbury Park was probably the real difference. If The Gents really want to triumph there I recommend they work on their running between the wickets and learn to be patient both with their team and the slow scoring rate facilitated by the huge outfield.

 

A dissenting, more pro-Gents line was adopted by Beggarbanter: Great game yesterday. Nothing between the teams; West XI edged it through some top-class fielding. The Gents actually outscored Beggars with the bat but leaked too many extras. Top quality cricket all round which did great credit to the competition.

 

The comments from Gunnersbury Rambler seem to this writer to be spot on. The Gents were too sluggish for the first 14 overs, with little attempt to take the singles and keep the microfont Gunnersbury Park scoreboard ticking over. Nevertheless, even with the required run rate at 6.4 after Bhav and Phil had been bowled through the match was still winnable, though perhaps at odds of 3/1 against The Gents. The cricketing know-how of playing at this venue was indeed the differentiator.

 

And yet, there is a nagging doubt. If this were so, how come The Gents won four games on the bounce there from 1999 to 2002? Steve Jones 158* was a one-off but the other three were real team efforts (and how long ago they now seem). Have The Gents declined, or have West XI got stronger? More worryingly, The Gents have lost their last three games at Victoria RG to West XI and stand 5-6 overall there, this on a ground with whose caprices and crevasses they ought by now to be intimately familiar.

 

There was none of the emotion that disfigured the 2003 game. Gent scribe and scorer for the day Burman may have misinterpreted the Beggar laughter that erupted when Stuart Snelling pulled up lame but he has red blood in his veins and that is all there is to it, though his outburst was perhaps undignified. More importantly, Mr. Hill was kind after the game, clearly understanding that the Gents were upset and disappointed.

 

 

Text votes on the day’s issues

 

 

 

Gents v. 12 Angry Men

 

Victoria RG, Surbiton, Sunday, 25 July. 12 Angry Men won toss. Sunny, 23°

 

 

Gentlemen of West London won by 7 wickets

 

Champions on cruise control

 

After the disappointment of Gunnersbury Park The Gents bounced back to clinch the 2004 PALs League against a below-par 12 Angry Men, who were desperately short of players. Their organiser wanted to cancel but 2-i-c HP Denton is made of sterner stuff and some late gerrymandering got them four guests, who were to have no little effect on the batting and bowling. Nevertheless, a powerful Gents team brushed them aside in a game that started at 1.50pm and was over by a quarter past five.

 

After confusion about the start time, for which the parkie’s boss administered a wigging to The Gents, Aussie Ray Hart, with 105 to his name in his previous match against Ardingly, won the toss and batted. He would show exemplary sportsmanship all match on a difficult day for his team. The Twelve could scarcely afford the early run out of Denton, sent back by Bullock and victim of a smart pick up and throw from square-leg Toft. Snarler yorked Hart, Wright did for Rev. Bullock and the established batsmen were all back in the hutch.

 

It could have been a disaster, which would not have been good for the enjoyable, long-running series of games between these best of enemies. Dev was steady, Faraz Sherwani elegant and particularly forceful on the off-side in the arc between cover and gully. He top-scored in the innings. His friend Pryesh – later to bowl some promising leg-breaks – is also up for Gents games until season end and he held the tail together as nearly 30 overs were used up on a fast, bouncy surface. Burman cut and drove Wright for three off-side fours before holing out to long-on and tea was taken with The Gents needing 99 to win.

 

When you are defending such a small score with ten men (Nabil and later Buck doing the honours for 12AM) it is safe to say there are several things you do not need, such as early dropped catches and a spatter of extras. Sadly, Twelve had all of this plus a barrage of aggressive shots from Vyas and Toft. After 10 overs it was 61-0 and The Gents’ maiden ten-wicket win was looming. Smart work from Denton, stumping Vyas after he had charged at Dev’s off-spin, gave Angries a deserved wicket. Two more were to follow, Sherwani deceiving Toft for an attractive 17 and Burman inducing a Scibo tickle into Denton’s safe gloves. The final overs were played out in humid weather and a great sense of fun as the immediate mission was clearly to dislodge No.3 James Lewis. Watched by his proud father, James was rightly having none of it and struck two excellent leg-side fours, Norcott bringing up the win with a three to mid-wicket. Though the victory was a simple one against a weakened oppo, it was far preferable to play than not and only Moon Cat failed to see active service during the day. The league was won with four chasing victories with scores of 139-4, 137-8, 108-7 and finally 99-3. Not a lot of runs about then in the series but plenty of tension and no little good cricket. Well done, guys.

Gents v. Sunderland SC

 

Victoria RG, Surbiton, Sunday, 1 August. Sunderland SC won toss. Sunny, 26°

 

 

Gentlemen of West London won by 6 wickets

 

Priyesh the Spin Doctor

 

After Sunderland had failed to capitalise on a solid start and ended shy of the total they were looking for, assertive Gent batting helped by a fertile supply of byes to the top boundary brought victory at a quarter to six. This was the tenth win of 2004 and a deserved one, though it is only fair to point out that Mackems were lacking a few stars – Mark Stewart would have loved this fast, bouncy track. For The Gents Priyesh Patel, Snarler and NZ Waynie with the ball and Buck, Dhruv and Faraz with the bat were the heroes, while there were gutsy contributions from Guthrie, McGirr and Campbell in the Mackem innings.

 

A steady start saw Sunderland post 40 in 12 overs before a lifter from Thompson brushed McGirr’s glove on its way to HP. Snarler was brought back to induce Lambton to sky to cover, Dhruv came and went before Priyesh from the pavilion end and Thompson from the top gave Sanjay control. Waynie’s parsimony is well known and he did bowl well, but debutant Priyesh’s flighted leg-spin was a revelation. Guthrie tonked to mid-on running in, Hamilton edged to slip and Adamson and Bedingfield were beaten by the turn. Thus, a promising start petered out, though the later batsmen hit the ball well. There were a few signs of raggedness in the field towards the end of the innings but Buck, Snarler and Sanjay held firm and the innings closed on 125 with one ball unused.

 

After an excellent tea, Buck and Toft strode to the crease and gave The Gents a dream start, which was built on by a second-wicket stand that saw 71 runs off the first 11 overs. The run-rate skyrocketed as Campbell could not pitch his left-arm slows from the top end and Buck and Dhruv were ruthless. The bounce at the same end was also causing ’keeper Guthrie problems and the dread umpire’s signal of four byes, as depressing to a wickie as the judge’s black cap was to a murderer in the good old days, was given five times by the umpires over the course of the innings, to the consternation of the 62-year old Mackem twelfth man Keith.

 

Having had a quiet day and therefore gagging to invoke an obscure Law, umpire Burman perked up when Thompson, who had made his ground at the non-striker’s end, deflected the incoming ball away from bowler Trow, who showed some consternation but fell short of appealing for Obstructing the Field, which would most certainly have been given! He soon took Wayne’s wicket though, with a brilliant one-handed caught and bowled. Faraz then drove Trow straight for four and cover-drove the winning runs with plenty of overs left, Dhruv not out on a splendid 41. The Gents scored 19 fours in their innings. It was a good day out and Victoria RG looked a picture in the shimmering haze of high summer.

West London 2004 fixtures

 

 

·         Gents home games start at 1pm

·         BAMC = Bob Ashton Memorial Cup

·         PALs = PALs League three-team competition

·         LNC = Lord Nelson Cup

 

The Gents’ 2004 playing record

 

Played 13 Won 9 Lost 3 Abandoned 1 Cancelled 2

Runs S Patel 216, W Thompson 207, R Gilkes 153, J Norcott 145, R Derriman 126, D Patel 121, B Vyas 113

Wickets S Patel 16, A Buck and W Thompson 15, S Snelling 11, R Derriman 10

Catches S Patel 7, R Derriman, M Sciberras, S Snelling and J Wright 4, D Patel and J Norcott 3

Late on parade W Thompson 5, J Lewis 4, R Derriman 3, D Patel and S Patel 2

Rants A Burman 2, M Sciberras 1

When he sees the replay he’ll be disappointed dismissals A Buck 4, R Derriman 2, M Sciberras 2

Dogs in the changing room J Norcott 1

 

PALs League table

 

 

The 2004 averages

 

 

Also played (1 game): D Bender 1/1/0/0, N Bhatt 1/1/0/0, S Bignell 1/1/0/0 (1 ct.), P Hill 1/1/0/11, 8-2-14-1, P Morrison 1/-/-/-, 3-0-17-1, C Naish 1/-/-/-, 0.2-0-4-1, P Patel 1/-/-/- (1 ct.), 7-0-28-4, V Sangaralingam 1/1/1/10, 8-0-42-2, P Turpin 1/-/-/-.

 

Lots still to play for, but one record that is certain not to be beaten, thank the Lord, is the 48 players who turned out for GWLCC in 2003 (21 of them just once). The total so far is 27 (9 single appearances). It has been a lot easier to organise the team with so many players being regularly available. A by-product of this squad expansion is that few individual aggregate records are likely to be beaten, with runs and wickets shared around a lot more.

 

Tour update

 

The accommodation has been booked for the nights of Saturday 14 and Sunday 15 August at the Kingswinford Travel Lodge. The club will meet 50% of the price of the rooms, so we’ll be asking for £25 a head from each of you, whether you want to stay one or two nights. We’ll tie up travel details before the tour but it’ll be car sharing.

 

 

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